I hate to use our show's blog to voice my concerns and opinions, but I am just too mad not to! I have never gotten into the Christmas toy crazes ie. Tickle Me Elmos, Baby Alives etc etc. As any listeners' know, I have an ADHD daughter who is very hard to shop for. And what does she want this year? You got it a ZhuZhu pet!!!! So wanting to get her at least one thing she truly wants, I go on the hunt. Like thousands of others, I assume. I find Toys R Us periodically is posting that they have them. I sit for hours hitting refresh and never get one in time. I'm disappointed, but oh well, that's the thrill of the hunt, I guess. So I call, and am told they don't update over the weekend, and that's why they are showing up as available. Someone tell me if I am wrong, but why would it be updating constantly to say they are there and then gone? So this is why I am really mad and have added the pic of the receipt as proof. After two days of hitting refresh, I am able to order three!!! Three ZhuZhu pets for six kids. I am feeling very blessed at that point. I decide I don't need three ZhuZhu pets. In reality, my kids can share. So I plan to give one to my neighbor who is desperately searching for one, and donating the other to Buffalo Dream Center. So I have these three ZhuZhu pets in my cart. It tells me it will be forty something dollars with shipping. Still much better than the fifty something greedy people are charging on ebay. So I begin looking for some accessories, of course sold out. No big deal I was lucky to get what I did. I go back to my cart about fifteen minutes later. Hit check out. It goes over my shipping info and the cost again. I agree and go on to put in credit card info. I finish the process and the receipt comes up only to tell me they are not in inventory. The receipt even has an order number. WHAT!!!!!!! I gave them my card info!!! So my mind begins spinning. Are they running a scam? Are they doing this to get people to the site? Or worse if I had said: Sweet I got these so I'm here let me grab a few other things and save myself shipping cost and then hit check out, I would have gotten all the stuff I probably could have gotten cheaper elsewhere. I'm spreading the word. Know that this blog is meant as a warning. I am now boycotting and hope others will Toys R Us. I will change m opinion if I see proof that the three ZhuZhu pets I should have had are donated to Toys 4 Tots, Buffalo dream center, and Children's hospital. I don't want them any longer from Toys R Us, but know that there are plenty of kids out there that would cherish one who can't even afford the face value price of ten bucks for these, let alone fifty! So hear me now Toys R Us. We are planning a whole show on ZhuZhu pets. I would hope you would make this right and prove you have sent AT LEAST three ZhuZhu pets to charity. You're not going to fool me I know you have some! In the back of a warehouse somewhere where they are being held onto for Christmas rush so you can draw people into your store. Make good on this wrong!
Oh and we will be doing a show on this a week from Tuesday, but I will hit on it in the first few minutes of Wendsday's show. Please join us for the Tuesday show and voice your opinion. I have heard quite a few people complaining about the same things!
That's right we are recruiting for the newest group/cult/political party/whatever you want it to be it is the IDGF isn't it? There are three basic rules to belong to the IDGF party.
1. You can't give a F^$% 2. Must state your opinion whenever to whoever cause you know you don't give a f%^& what people think 3. Must have been screwed over majorly at least once in life hence the reason you just don't give a f%^&
When it comes to politics we vote for who we like not necessarily because we belong to the party they do, because we don't give a F%^& who gets voted in as long as they keep their promises. When it comes to relationships ending we will always take the side of another party member even if we know it was their fault. We will shrug off those who piss us off, and slander is completely acceptable within the boundaries of the group and it's members so we don't get sued.
Yes come join the IDGF and stand beside your brothers and sisters who just don't give a F$#%. Here you will find understanding. If you need to vent, vent away!! Yes the IDGF understands and we are there for all you when you just don't give a F$%^&. Come talk to us. So join the IDGF party, you know you want to.
Stephanie and I did a show today that revolved around our first semi-religious topic....Religion is a topic we shy away from because it's one that is very personal to us both. We differ in viewpoints. But as I've said on many occasions, Steph and I are very lucky in that we can state our views and respect each other. Religious debates never turn into religious arguments. Stephanie is Christian, 100% and isn't shy about sharing that faith. I, on the other hand, believe in God, but my faith extends to the more New Age beliefs. I know about Christianity, and can't say I don't believe in many of the Christian values, but I can't say I don't believe in a lot of Buddhist values, Pagan values, and so on.
I want to blog about forgiveness today. It seems so many people come into my life and at the first sign of trouble they are ready to bolt. Relationships aren't meant to be perfect. Relationships are bound to have their rocky times, their times when they are barely afloat, and their times when, yes, they are hard. And while relationships aren't meant to be work, it takes effort on both parts to maintain a relationship. It takes time to build trust, and time to understand each other. And when things happen, it takes time to work them out. Being adults, adults should be willing to work them out, not turn their back and walk away. A discussion is at least worth having before turning your back and walking away.
Isn't it taught in most religions that forgiveness is of the utmost importance? After all who are we to judge? Won't you be standing in your own judgment on your critical day? Do you want to be shamed by the grudges you hold? I get tired of begging people to talk it out with me. Of apologizing endlessly. Of saying let's be adult and talk about it. Yes I do wrong. I am an imperfect person. Sometimes I jump to conclusions. I get in a bad mood. I get sad, I get down and I get angry. But I love my friends, and I love them well. I try very hard to be understanding and when I have been wrong, I will apologize. But I get sick of this attitude that I can do what I want, but you...oh you will be persecuted to the fullest, and I will damn well never speak to you for what you did again.
Forgiveness people. Everyone does wrong. EVERYONE. And every action has a consequence. Let me out myself here. Recently a friend contacted me...this is someone I've known since I was a kid, and he likes to play a lot of games with me. However, I believed he was serious when he contacted me. We arranged to meet, and suddenly right after I get the message that he is coming over I get a message that his dad is going to the hospital. To me it seems like another game he is playing. He is pissed that I got pissed. Who is right? Who has the right to be angry? Well probably both of us. Maybe I overreacted....maybe I should have been more compassionate....however it is his actions in the past which led me to the conclusion I jumped to. I am well and truly sorry for this. However, many times in the past I have forgiven him his indiscretions....including very recently which is what led to our discussion to begin with. But I can't be forgiven? Can we say hypocritical?
What happened to do unto others? Do unto others people? The bible says it very plainly. Steph and I bring it up on the show all the time. What is the matter with people.
To all those I've hurt...I'm sorry....but where are your apologies for hurting me? Why is it okay for hurting me but I'm a bitch for doing it to you? Do unto others.....
Religious or not....treat other people the way you want to be treated. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to do everything right, and no you aren't always going to make everyone happy. You might even screw up every now and again. But when you're sorry, say you're sorry and mean it, and when you hear it..don't just turn your back...love one another....people and time are all we got...
I can tell you from experience....when I really needed someone, Steph was there for me. No matter how I pushed...no matter what I did, Steph would say to me, When you're ready, I'm there for you....and so she is. Do unto others. Forgive...nothing is that bad that you should turn your back on someone you care about. If you really love someone.....and they really matter to you, you never know when tomorrow will be too late.
As I sit here and look over the comments from my wonderful editor on my manuscript I am laughing at what she said. "Man, their faces must hurt from all this smiling and laughing. Is it possible to make a character too smiley? YES!!!!!!!!!! It's sickening really as I read it back over. Who smiles that much other than Jim Carey? It makes a character unbelievable and the story read funny (No pun intended). People do smile and laugh, but not all the time. And what was I thinking putting she smiled sadly, what a contradiction! So to keep this post short and simple, writing lesson for the day: People frown, they wink, lift a brow, cry, giggle, and yes even smile, but spread it out! One smile is sufficient every few paragraphs or even pages! Oh and to my editor: "I'm sorry." Stephanie smiled, writing this blog post.
I've been asked about this story a lot. It's a bit of a story I began as a free story, and never got to finish, but I have received a lot of great reader response to it, so I am going to put it back out there and yes, I intend to finish it up for you guys here on this blog and in my newsletter! Which you can receive by emailing me at enchantedpixie@charter.net! So without further ado! Here is chapter 1 of And So It Goes! Give me some time to get refamiliarized with the storyline so I can make it great for you guys, to post the chapters I have written and to write....Thank you for the wonderful response! :)
Dear Tessa,
By the time you receive this letter, I will likely be dead. I wish there was an easier way to say that but there’s not. I meant to write you this letter so many times, but I wasn’t quite sure what I would say. I always thought that I would have plenty of time. Now here I am near the end of my life and I’m finally getting around to doing what needed to be done. I’m just sorry that it’s too late. I want you to understand that it was never you that I hated. I was hurt and angry. I needed someone to blame, but I could never hate you. You were my best friend, and these past years have been lonely without the joy that you brought to my life. Life went on and I lived it the best way I knew how, but there was never another to take your place. You have no idea how truly sorry I am for the rift that was between us. I know that I drove you away and I will meet my maker with the terrible regret of that. I hope that you can find forgiveness in your heart for me and accept the gift, which I have left you in my will. Please come home as soon as you get this. If you hurry I may get to say goodbye to the best friend I’ve ever known. If by the time you’ve gotten here I am gone, please take care of the treasure I left you. It was my most cherished possession in life and I hope that you will embrace it and allow it to bring you much joy. Please don’t let hard feelings prevent you from following through with a promise we made each other when we were kids.
Love,
Annie
Tessa Burke set the letter on the table and stared at it. It had been years since she had heard from Annie. When she left Chattanooga she didn’t look back. All the people who blamed her for what happened could kiss her ass for all she cared including Annie. But as soon as the thought entered her mind, guilt assaulted her. Ten years had passed since she was the nineteen year old girl that left town with a chip on her shoulder and something to prove.
Los Angeles had been good to her. It wasn’t long after she arrived that she had gotten her first break. She had arrived at the casting call hours before its advertised time. Seven hours later, she left the audition feeling deflated. After messing up her lines more than once and being unable to continue due to an obnoxious case of hiccups, she was sure that she wouldn’t get the part. Tears had streamed down her face as she made her way to the low rent district. The pep talk she gave herself has dried her tears and she had almost convinced herself that she would enjoy another serving of peanut butter and jelly and milk.
When darkness fell over the apartment, she had climbed in the bed of blankets on the floor and closed her eyes. Tessa remembered the prayer she had said that night. God I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going, but I know that if you only give me a chance I’ll make you proud. I’ll be kind and generous and I’ll try to make you proud. It was a prayer that God had seen fit to answer with an early morning phone call the very next day.
Stunned, Tessa had blindly accepted that small role, never dreaming that ten years later she’d still be there. In that ten years she had done her best to fulfill the promise she made God that night. Affectionately, others had called her the Mother Teresa of the soap world it was a name she took great pride in. Her eyes flickered to the letter sitting nearby. God why do you have to ask the impossible? She felt her eyes roll and she knew that there was no option. Tomorrow, she would book her flight to Chattanooga.
* * * *
“Tessa you’re in the middle of a major storyline! It will take time to find someone to temporarily take your place.” Ron Greer pleaded with her. A deep sigh escaped her and she tried to reign in her irritation.
“I don’t ask for much Ron. I’ve worked on this show for ten years now and have taken very little time off. It’s not like I took a notion to run off and take a frivolous vacation. I have to take care of some business.”
Ron eyed her for a moment. She could see the suspicion enter his eyes. Chewing her lower lip, she met his gaze head on. “I’ve never known you to be so secretive Tess. You are one of the friendliest, most open women I know. What’s up with you?”
Tessa sighed. If she wanted the time off, she was going to have to tell Ron the story. “I got a letter from a friend in Chattanooga. She’s not well and needs me to come home.”
“I thought you didn’t talk to anyone from back home.”
“I don’t.”
Tessa turned away but not before she saw the look of confusion twist his features. “It’s just something I have to do Ron. Annie may be dead already. But she had a reason for asking me to go home. I need to do it. If I don’t, all the rumors will start up again and they’ll all think I was too ashamed to come home.”
Ron’s hand settled on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. “Why do you care what they think Tess?” He asked gently.
She turned to look at him. His dark hair was shaved close to his head. His blue eyes were soft and warm. The wire-rimmed glasses sat low on his nose and the fatherly like quality of him had always endeared her to him. He was so understanding, opening up to him was easy. He had taken over as the head writer of And So It Goes four years ago and they had become fast friends. He was one of only three people who knew the whole story of why she had left Chattanooga.
“Tess you don’t have to feel guilty. It wasn’t your fault. People were wrong to blame you, but you were an easy target. If anyone should feel guilty, Tess, it’s them. They drove you away and made you feel like a criminal and you’re not. You are the sweetest, most honest person I know.”
She raised her hand to cup his cheek. With the pad of her thumb, she swept the hard lines of his cheekbone. “You’re a good friend.”
“When does your flight leave?”
“Four o’clock.”
“And you’ll call me everyday with an update?”
“Yes.”
Ron sighed, “I don’t understand why you feel so obligated, but I guess that’s just who you are. I hope Jolie Maynor is available.”
Tessa raised up on her toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks for understanding.” She whispered.
Tessa saw his half smile and knew that he really did understand. She turned and made her way out of the office before the tears that threatened spilled over her eyelids.
* * * *
Leaning back in the narrow seat on the plane, she closed her eyes. Her stomach lurched at the expected jolt when the plan touched the ground in Chattanooga. Taking several deep calming breaths, she tried not to focus on being back in the place where she was raised. She couldn’t really think of it as home. Home is a place where you’re happy. Chattanooga was not that place.
The doors of the plane opened and she gathered up her belongings and stood. Tessa waitedfor her turn to disembark from the plane. When she finally stepped through the corridor into the airport that she had left from ten years ago, it felt like she had been punched in the gut. Few changes had occurred. When she sat down in a chair at the gate, she closed her eyes and could see herself as a nineteen-year-old girl. It seemed like it was only yesterday that she had ran through this very corridor in a hurry to catch her flight to LA. Long blonde hair hung loosely over her shoulders and tears dropped from her jade green eyes. It felt like her world had come to an end. Somewhere between Chattanooga and LA determination had set in. She would make it, no matter what it took. And so she had.
On unsteady feet, she rose and made her baggage claim. The blinking light on top of carousel number four had her moving that direction. Recognizing several other passengers, she determined that she must be in the right place and stood back to wait for her two suitcases to come through the opening.
“Tessa? Tessa Burke?”
She spun around and ran smack dab into a rock solid chest. Taking a step back, she slowly lifted her head and met the most incredible eyes that were the color of toasted hazelnuts. Chiseled features defined a masculine jaw line, an aqualine nose and high arched brows that reminded her of something akin to perfection. She worked with some beautiful men, but none even came close to this one. His warn smile and intent gaze made some of the tenseness that had invaded her body upon landing dissipate.
“You don’t remember me do you?” The smooth deep timbre of his voice was unfamiliar to her. She felt her brow wrinkle as she shook her head.
“Nathan Ramsey.”
The name didn’t ring a bell. Part of her was relieved it wasn’t someone she had once known here in Tennessee.
“I’m sorry.” She shrugged and turned back to the luggage carousel. One of her bags approached her and she moved forward between a stooped old woman and a young man that didn’t appear to be more than fifteen or sixteen years old. Before she could grasp the handle, a tanned arm reached around her and pulled the bag from the belt. Tessa turned and Nathan smiled down at her.
“We met at a charity auction in Los Angeles about six months ago. You’re friend Belinda introduced us.”
Tessa went to so many events and met so many people she didn’t recall the event he spoke of. Belinda was her onscreen sister and best friend. Tessa spent a lot of time with Belinda and her husband Shane.
“I’m sorry, I still don’t recall.”
“It’s okay.” A sexy half smile turned up the corner of his lips and she felt herself smiling back.
Tessa turned back to the luggage just as her second bag drifted past. She followed it until she was within reach and grabbed it off the carousel easily. Nathan followed her with her other bag. When she stepped away from the crowd, she lost her balance and Nathan’s hands shot out to steady her. His touch was warm and inviting. How nice it would be to be held in those strong arms She thought as she focused on the muscles bulging underneath the soft fabric of the T-shirt he wore.
Straightening herself she said “I’m sorry. I’m not normally such a klutz.”
A low chuckle escaped him. “I know, I’ve seen you on TV. Always so graceful.” A blush heated her cheeks as it always did when her fans complimented her. Suddenly she felt like she was in a fishbowl and she turned to see two women staring at her in wonderment. As if meeting their eyes gave them the permission they needed, they took the steps needed to close the distance between them. Damn. So much for going unnoticed. Normally she didn’t worry about being recognized. It was always a blessing to meet her fans. She had hoped to fly under the radar during her time in Chattanooga. She pulled the baseball cap lower over her forehead and smiled at the women.
“Are you Tessa Burke?” One woman rasped out. It was obvious she was a smoker by the deep, scratchy tone of her voice.
“Of course she’s Tessa. I’d know my Tessa anywhere. I watch you every day you know. It’s a shame that you didn’t marry Carl. Such a sweet man he is.” The woman said with a pat to her arm.
It always amused her when fans spoke to her like she was her character. Nan Carlisle was a part of her, but she was definitely, distinctly different. Although sometimes she felt few recognized the differences between her and the character she played. Tessa smiled at the women and said, “Thank you. I’m glad you enjoy the show.”
‘Would you sign this dear?” The woman with the raspy voice asked holding out a pen and a napkin. With a bright smile that she had learned to wear every day, she scrawled her name and watched as the two women waddled away.
“It must be hard.”
Tessa turned back to Nathan who watched her with a look of amusement.
“What?”
“Being recognized everywhere you go.”
A light laugh escaped her and she shrugged. “I guess I’m not so good at going incognito. Actually, it doesn’t really bother me. I like to meet my fans.”
“Can I carry that to your car for you?” Nathan asked as he motioned towards her bags.
“No. It’s okay. I can manage.”
“Well I suppose I should be going. I have an early meeting. It was nice to meet you, again, Tessa.”
“You too Nathan.” She watched as he turned and walked away.
It took over an hour for Tessa to rent a car and get to the hotel near Hamilton Place mall. A place that brought back many memories. She stared at the bright lights of the surrounding area and marveled at how it had changed since she had been gone. An unwanted pang of nostalgia hit her and she debated going to the mall where she and Annie had spent many an evening when they were teens. With a muttered curse she swung her car into the red roof inn and stiffened her resolve to do nothing that would make this visit more painful than it was already going to be.
The room was small but livable for the time she would be here. She wondered how long that would be. With any luck, it would be just a day or so and she could get out of here and go back to her happy life in LA.
It was almost midnight when Tessa stepped out of the shower and pulled a sleeveless silk nightgown over her head. With a big yawn, she climbed into bed and sunk underneath the thin blankets. She tried not to think of tomorrow when she closed her eyes but it was impossible. Visions of her life here danced through her head. Voices rang in her ears accusing her It was your fault. You killed Adam. You’re not wanted here. You’ll never be anything but a murderer. A tear slid from her closed eyes and she moved her hands to cover her ears. It had been a long time since she had heard those voices.
Frustrated, she sat up and picked up the remote control. It didn’t matter what was on, she turned the volume up a few notches and laid down. The noise from the TV drown out the voices in her head and she breathed a sigh of relief. Tomorrow was going to be a difficult day and she prayed that she would have the strength to endure it.
Hi, We're Jordana and Stephanie. Multi-published authors and best friends. Between the two of us, we have a plethora of ideas, interests, and opinions. We can be funny, serious, and sometimes border on plain insanity...but hey, we enjoy it and hope you will too.
